..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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