Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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