Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize