he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
