I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
