yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
