does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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