I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
