I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
