So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
