Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize