Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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