Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
