Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
