he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
