There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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