I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize