google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
PANTIES FOUND
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