Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
