HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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