Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize