I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So vagazzling was a success
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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