i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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