I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
