never play flip cup with pint glasses
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
This is my gift to your gina
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
