do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
