I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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