I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
