she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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