ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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