he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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