Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
