He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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