I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
