dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
