Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
