I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just found puke in my bra..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
