Only a mothe r could love this liver
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
