Swine flu. Run for my life!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize