How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
