Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im holly from the hills drunk
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
