he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
