is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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