Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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