matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
