Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
