I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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