Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
