you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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