He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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