My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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