i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
