Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
