ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
