she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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