holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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