is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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