you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
