I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
where am i from again
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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